Ugly?

And now a new milestone…and keeps moving. Never still. Never satisfied. Is this good or bad? Or do we need to label it in the good versus bad folder? Maybe, it doesn’t quite fit in anywhere. After all, it keeps throbbing, moving endlessly, changing shape and intensity..sometimes un-recognisable altogether like a cold blooded stranger and sometimes, so you that you cannot tell the two of you apart. It is the urge to inhale, the will to survive, gasp and gobble up the life giving forces.

Flashes of the movie (confessions…) keep coming back to me throughout the day..it doesn’t seem ugly. It seems honest. And honesty is not ugly. It is rough, edgy, not all sorted like a well-thought, ironed out lie…but not ugly. It has a raw appeal, the appeal of organic elements, the appeal of the soul. It goes beyond the reason-whys, it carves out the inner flesh, puts it on display for all to understand the debased, realness of it all. Yeah, sure some do feel queasy in the stomach…but one must agree, it is a fascinating display of the combined effort of God’s engineering and Man’s spirit and that cannot be ugly. Maybe, indigestible, un-delectable…but not ugly.

And honesty, so closely linked to our basic urges and elemental make-up, too keeps shifting. In and out of contexts and origins. An out of place honesty, just like an out of place urge makes no sense…and yet, you can’t take the real-ness out of it…and also, cannot ignore it.